The Science of Sleep

Michel Gondry is rumoured to be a pain in the ass to work for. Maybe it is because he is one of the few people who can wrangle big budget movies and movie stars into doing things in non-budget friendly experimental ways. The music is soft coffee-drinking music

I believe the US release date is September 22, though I have also seen the date of the 18th thrown around. (This may pertain specifically to the soundtrack.) You can buy me the soundtrack if you want.

Reading:

I was in St. Mark's books and saw two interesting books:

The Rise and Fall of the Self and Soul
The Artist and the Mathematician

They were hardcover and expensive, so I clicked on the "I guess I'll buy this later with imaginary money and put them in my imaginary cart" button.

I saw Litte Miss Sunshine with Nameer. Everyone should see that movie. I wasn't expecting too much, so maybe that allowed me to avoid disappointment (something my mom says is usually a huge problem for me), but the writing, acting, and direction were well done and I recommend it to anyone who is seeking original reasons for laughing.

Also, if anyone wants to lend me some Bill Evans or Bartok, or knows how to install a belt on a turn table, then as Bob Hope says "Come on down."

Syd Barrett passed away.

STORYBOARD FOR A MOVIE

the plot is at the end

Our heroine finds out that Johnson & Johnson has stolen her %more advertising strategy. She knows she is the marketing genius.

The executives can't believe they've been found out.

She spends her time in disguise, as windex

Jennifer does not like this at all.

Xenia doesn't like that Jennifer doesn't like this at all. She thinks: YOU eat shit and YOU die dick.

She learns the secret of absolute power from her friend: Joe. The secret is that there is only one 'a' in 'Megadeth'. See... just like that.

When she first spells it right she goes to heaven... Just like that.

Tara finds Xenia in the clouds through the trees, and she says... aww, Xeen, eat shit and die, you dick.

Xenia eats shit. But she doesn't die. She just lays there underneath the Filipino flag.

And never learns to resize images.

People are really into building really fancy pools and then saying things like "I don't like swimming," .... "You get wet." I can't tell: do I WANT to visit LA and feel like everyone is a bunch of weird aliens or do I NOT WANT to visit LA and feel like everyone is a bunch of weird aliens... and I don't care that "PAPER" Magazine really really really likes L.A. No, I don't care at all.

I found this particular line from the article about "pools" to be like a poem:

Las Vegas-style amusements:
remote-controlled flames, sound-activated
dancing lights
and the illusion of endless water

more pictures of pools that people don't swim in

A little gift from me to you:



The above pictures showed up when i google-imaged a word. All of these imgs showed up on page three. What word do you think it was? COMMENTS PLEASE!

EVERYTHING AND ENDINGS

At times I think I've had a rough year. I quit a job that I loved because I was forced to be self interested. My love left me for other cities and state funded educations. My best friends stopped talking to me. The oil light in my car turned on. I could not concentrate hard enough to do yoga. All of my art fell lazy and unmotivated: to an audience of no one.

So I slept [10] - [12] hours every night... until I added it up and wrote this paragraph:


We used to talk about stamps and automobiles. He left me in the first quarter of the game while I was adding up all the hours I had slept and converting that into days. It was raining outside when I found out I was sad. I missed my grandmother. Although she was alive, she was waiting to die. For several months up until this moment, I had slept almost ten hours a night and the darkened sky made me lonely. I gave up drinking after I couldn’t forgive myself for all the sadness I had caused.

Here's the math:

2 extra hours of sleep a day x 7 days a week = 14 hours a week = an entire waking day of my life gone

considering all the healthy food, teas, coffee, reading, work, and exercise I tried with all of my heart and conscience to relieve this purposeful forfeit of a days worth of time.... it came down to only one thing: I was scared of people.

I could hide in Sherman's March and Bruno Shulz's the Street of Crocodiles. I could think about Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation and read Nicole Krauss's THE HISTORY OF LOVE or write quiet paragraphs and pray to the glowing saint while rearranging my bedroom with graph paper quotations of Dostoevevsky's Brothers Karamazov (that was called Brothers K by 3 people in one day.)

Or I could realize that reading about loving people isn't the same as loving people, and that loving people's work isn't the same as loving people...

Falcons vs. Redskins

Years ago, I made a shabby, like really shabby, newsletter about Friendster vs. Myspace vs. something else, which I can't remember but might have been called "So LA" or whatever.

I decided back then that Myspace would grow to dominate the world of Self-Fashioning on the internet, and I stick to that conclusion, even though people in college think Facebook is like really cool and shit. Oh my god thats so college.

But the thing I'm happiest about in all of this is being able to read my cousins' correspondence with one another, especially when they talk about how the "Falcons" are better than the "Redskins." Oh, btw, that refers to high school teams.

The question becomes, would a Redskin sans tomahawk (I know I know.. I'm like so racist right now) beat a falcon in a cage match? Talons people. Talons.

MY COUSIN MICHELLE

So speaking of cousins, my cousin Michelle is really talented. Look at that cool ass jewelry she designed up there. You can check it out here. I want her to sell it at this thing. Though I've honestly never been, the couple who runs it seems to kickass that I really want to start hanging out there on the weekends when I'm not working. My sister bought all my cousins jewelry and she makes bags too and they are also kickass.

cool ass. kickass. whatever.

My cousin michelle also writes things like this:

Sweet.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Today i was mistaken for a high school student.

Again.

That's why I like her so much.

ALEX FELD
Moving on...

Alex takes good pictures and not just of me. Duh.

Visit me at work assholes.

People are really into building really fancy pools and then saying things like "I don't like swimming," .... "You get wet." I can't tell: do I WANT to visit LA and feel like everyone is a bunch of weird aliens or do I NOT WANT to visit LA and feel like everyone is a bunch of weird aliens... and I don't care that "PAPER" Magazine really really really likes L.A. No, I don't care at all.

I found this particular line from the article about "pools" to be like a poem:

Las Vegas-style amusements:
remote-controlled flames, sound-activated
dancing lights
and the illusion of endless water

more pictures of pools that people don't swim in

A little gift from me to you:



The above pictures showed up when i google-imaged a word. All of these imgs showed up on page three. What word do you think it was? COMMENTS PLEASE!

"Ridiculous"

People call other people's actions, worries, likes, behavioral tendencies, clothing and word usage "ridiculous" a lot in the circle of people I manage to interact with on a daily level.

From etymonline.com:

1550, from L. ridiculosus "laughable," from ridiculus "that which excites laughter," from ridere "to laugh." In modern senses, ridicule

For example, some people think that the following are ridiculous:
, , , , and so on.

However, is it funny in my example of what I am talking about if:
Someone really likes cashmere socks and freaks out if someone accidentally loses on of that person's socks, or if someone really likes doing yoga at four a.m. every morning in the middle of his sleep cycle or if someone talks a lot really loudly or wears spandex under EVERYTHING? i.e.

Maybe not. They say an idea starts seriously/sacredly, turns into profanity, enters laughability and can finally then be seen with any clarity of imagination at all. Those things which we take very seriously are not allowed to be funny and we aren't allowed to get a range of ideas or creative solutions to the uncomfortable feelings these subjects provoke in us: i.e. the holocaust, War, people's moms.

I personally find dead babies not to be so controversial...

I google img'ed dead baby, but I'm pretty sure I want to spare you on that one.

SELF DEFENSE


I took a self defense class with a young redhead sassy high school gym teacher, because in my high school you got to choose your classes. I, however, was busy chasing a friend of mine who was crying b/c she got a B in gym. While I was in the locker room saying, "It's fine, just bring your gym clothes next time," the other classes got filled up. I only remember one move. There were fourteen people in our class and about 45 in all the other classes, like, "soccer" or "volleyball." Half of the people in my class were pure delinquents. I loved them.

I have a new self defense technique. Always carry a really hot beverage:
or

And throw it in someone's face if they try to rob you. And when they look like this they will think twice about robbing you.

dilettante

Are you a dilettante?

According to Montclair College and Princeton, you may be a dilettante if you:

1. show... frivolous or superficial interest; amateurish; "his dilettantish efforts at painting"

Another word for dilettante: dabbler: an amateur who engages in an activity without serious intentions and who pretends to have knowledge

But Dilletante used to mean:

a lover of the arts, but now primarily a literary or artistic hanger-on, superficial or amateurishî

It used to be cool and genuine and now its not.
Kind of like Koosh Balls.
Or "telling people about your band."
Or cereal.

I was going to write comedy albums, but then I started thinking too hard about that one.

AD CAMPAIGNS

You may remember my August Budweiser Campaign. There is a beautiful view of an Anheiser Brewery when you travel from Trenton to New York City or vice versa. I wish I had taken a picture, but I didn't.

DREAM: I had a dream that Trent, pictured below

image courtesy of ben d.

made a movie, and I was one of many people in it. We filmed for a very short while and when I looked back at the tape, I realized it was much longer than I thought it would be. Apparently, much of the shoot occurred without me realizing it, and through audio, creative camera angles and post production, he made a well thought out movie with footage of my everyday life. He added the plot. Now I am very keen on doing a project like this.

There's a new place down the street on Graham. It's called Ralph's Italian Ice. They have Sundaes, Ice Cream, Water Ice, Cream Ice, and Creme Ice. In PA, we have . No one in New York City, from NY State or Northern CA had ever heard of "Water Ice." I'm happy to say that the appearance of this term in the Salerno, Italy area of Bklyn legitimizes the whole thing. Also, they have flavors that my new roommate Joe has tried such as:

Rainbow Cookie
Birthday Cake

Pete tried:
Cremesicle
Strawberry Shortcake

I'm waiting for a day I really need a pick me to up to try this flavor:


Today I took a review of the archives of Jeffrey Max's Blog. I have had about one conversation with Mr. Jeffrey Max if you add up all the little comments we may have exchanged. I think Jeffrey is the epitome of the ironic dilemma. You see, Jeffrey seems to be critical of EVERYTHING, but also ENTHUSIASTIC AND TALENTED about his criticism, causing me to use so many CAPS in my sentences about his blog. Sometimes I think, Wow, Jeffrey is a hater, but then I love(r) to read his blog, even the mean things... So I guess, enjoy but don't take seriously. Have some banter... There are notes of hopefulness between the grumbling in my humble opinion.

NOW FOR THE SHOW!

Here is my new Foster's Ad Campaign

I know you have been wondering what to call those big fat cans of FOSTER'S. Here's some history from tastings.com:

Aluminum cans
Aluminum cans are more popular at the economy/supermarket/bulk package end of the market than at the premium side. Packaging in aluminum cans does necessarily imply pasteurization. Although cans do not fit the image of the craft-brewed product, there is no technical reason why high-quality beer cannot be sold in cans, and, in fact, a number of craft brewers are launching canned products. A significant impediment to craft brewers using cans instead of bottles is the high capital cost of the pasteurization and packing equipment required. Among imports, British bitters are often shipped in aluminum cans, and a certain brand of Australian lager has forged an image by being sold in a large "oil can" size.

I wonder why they couldn't just say FOSTERS instead of "a certain brand of Australian lager."

Did you hear that! No technial reason why high-quality beer cannot be sold in cans! It's actually more expensive.

= Happiness and Adoration

Maybe someone should teach me how to resize imgs properly.

FIN!