LOOK WHAT I DID TO TRENT

Losers

I think all of my friends who are kind of turning into losers should get some advice from here

YEAH, I KNOW NO ONE CARES...
dumbfounded isn't the word. more like i feel i've been given a shø†
of ßomething that makes me ƒeel this sincerely vulgar
need to cry for no reason at all, and i'm not sure if it'ß like the in∆ection kind of shot or
the gun kind of shot or å cheap Shot or what, but whatever it is,
it's working, whoever you are... it's working. yeah, I know "you don't read blogs" or
you think "what goes up must come down" and vice versa. hell, I even know that
you think "giving up caffeine might be a good idea."
well, an idea is an idea, and ideas tend to be much lovelier
than say, Shots.

"Shot through the heart, and you're too blame. You give love.... a bad name." - jon bon jo√i

you tell me! Comments please.

Triple dipped?
you distract him, and i'll uhhh.. distract him.
after they were told, they weren't just brothers, they were in-laws
Wait...you're innies?
is that your phone or my phone?
Older
Are your tastes supposed to change JUST because your older? I mean aren't you supposed to acquire perspective from both experience and inquisitive nature?

I am back from Denver and it turns out I like it a lot when people say my name three times in a row.
We had three crazy insane cab drivers in Denver. The first one I was afraid of because I thought he was a murderer. It was because of how he talked about the weather. The second one told us he was a buddhist media activist, and that he made movies with a budget of three dollars, and he made four or so a week. The third one kept wanting to talk about east coast versus west coast and kept saying, "You know what I mean?" At the end.

Steve Buscemi is directing a new movie called Lonesome Jim. Soderbergh is directing a new movie called Bubble where only uses town people and doesn't use actors, and he directed "Traffic" and Oceans Eleven and Erin Brokovitch and Kafka and some other indie stuff.

I like these magazines; Filter, Under the Radar, and 10 which is an English Fashion magazine that is quatertly and humungo and lively.

I miss all of my friends. It's Saturday night and I just got in.

Here is what I was thinking about:there is no sort of balloon that can lift you up into a world that is different than this one. you could maybe get yourself on top of a building or into an airplane and see how small we all are crawling on top of each other but that is expensive I think. you have to pay entrance to get into most really big buildings. you could make friends with a janitor and you could work in one of those buildings but it will depend if you feel like work is rewarding. I have such a disease as this and I am not all that tall and sometimes I think this is good and other times I’d like to be able to reach the light above my seat in a passenger aircraft.

aircraft.

you might become a storyteller and sit in a gingham dress where it always smells like cookies and think of the kinds of children you would like to have and which you would name garrett or Sophia or violet. you might look down at your feet and wiggle your toes and see them resemble earthworms and wish it was summer and raining and you were out on a terrace wearing all blue and hearing dusty Springfield being sung by your neighbor in the yard next door while she waters her plants even though it’s raining. just because it’s three o’clock and wednesday she waters her plants. her name might be Ophelia.

that doesn’t mean she is tragic.

or you might have a favorite blanket and a yellow balloon that never deflates in your room that you draw animals on. the animals might wear clothes you design, too, based on movies you watch in your brown blanket with your yellow couch in the dead of winter and in the center of summer.

which leads us to the conclusion, me and you on this musing journey, that everything is climbing upward slowly, though it seems dangerously fast at times when the world is having a growth spurt and your eyes are closed really tight and your hands are looking for something to hold onto because the weather makes you feel like if you reach something might appear there, like those seeds that float from dandelions when they are ripe with age.

My Goddaughter
This is Arianna Bianca Marmol. My grandmother didn't like that name, so on the first card she gave to my cousin after she had a baby she wrote this on the envelope:

"Baby Marmol"

Grandma prefers these names: Melody and Ramon.

I also found a list of things that Trent and I compiled called:
Nice Things to Say to Someone:

1. "You're the smartest."
2. "You're my best friend AND my boyfriend."
3. "Nice boobies."
4. "Your mom should run for governor. She's hot."
5. "You just turned into American Pie."
6. "Nice Sandwich."
7. "Would you eat regular-flavored pills if you were a cat?"
8. "Trent Butt Plug."
9. "Maybe you should eat candy only."

ALSO: Peter moves out of my house today and though I look forward to having Brian move in, (even though he's running around Jamaica right now and I can't get a hold of him), I cried a bit more than I thought I would when he left. It was the sad.

Here is a word he made up that is gross: "Butt Wedgy Dingleberries."

Grossssssss!

Happy New Year!

unless it's about an amoeba..

XMAS

Magazine subscriptions are ruling holiday presents. It's too bad that Governor Shwarzeneger (sp?) denied Snoop Dogg's plea to change that Crip dude's sentence from death penalty to life in "prizzle." Conan made that joke and kept saying "What eez thees Preezle?" in an Arnold Voice. Try it. You'll love it.

Also: Here is what they are cutting to minimize the deficit: Medicaid, Medicare, Student Loan Subsidies, and Child Support. Oh, and they are promoting marriage. Okay....

Guilty Pleasure: Watched Mona Lisa Smile and liked it. Maybe it was the clothes. And it made smoking look cool and i love / hate when movies do that.

Little thing: They are bringing in Wildlife Experts from government to teach them how to disperse crows in upstate NY.

Big Thing: Essentially President Bush's warrantless phone tapping executive order (9/14/01) is the greatest fear of the creator's of the constitution. In the news today they brought up that since many of the people whose phones have been tapped did not know they were being spied on, they can't press charges. Checks and balances out the window. I think that Federal Judge Robertson who resigned is bueno.

Last thing: New Years Eve is my favorite holiday.

New Years Resolution: Dancing once a week as a cardiovascular workout. Suggestions where?

*Later Beeotch

Maybe this is common knowledge to you, but if you didn't get the chance to read the news:

Things I Learned Reading the NY Times:
1. A fishing village in China protested against an illegal power plant that was going to take their land and pollute it. They made some gradeschool caliber bombs and the government shot at them. Now no one is allowed to talk about it. IN FACT: they are bribing the villagers to pretend all of the bodies with bullet holes are the product of their own bombs. Bribing them 15,000 dollars when they are poor. OH, and if you don't take the bribe they beat the shit out of you. You can't visit family in the hospital and they cut off all communication to Hong Kong, where they are allowed to publish the real story.

2. A Turkish author is being charged for slandering Turkish identity (against the law - including criticizing the state, government, army, etc.). He is a best selling author who is translated in 34 languages in trouble b/c he mentioned the slaughter of a million Armenians in 19 freaking 15 and the deaths of thousands of Kurds since the 1980's. WTF! And they want to be in the EU. Good luck.

3. A guy in Brazil invented the walkman and fought 25 years for the credit.

4. The Republicans and George Bush have been eavesdropping on thousands of conversations without warrants. (Recently-disclosed.) Enough of Congress is filibustering like hell to fight the renewal of the abusive post-9/11 laws. Oh, and I like McKain.

meet me at the crossroads
so you won't be lonely
-Xenia

i am pretty sure that it is just the winter or something. everyday i draw a picture and write one page and i still feel like a bowl of cereal and i don't like cereal so much.

i don't have much faith that things just happen right. but i also can quite be convinced that anyone can make a story out of their life and just write it and rewrite it and fall in love with it or open or close it or add to it.

it must be the winter or something.

JakeDaBake (9:36:38 PM): um
JakeDaBake (9:36:55 PM): hello xenia? this is 5 days ago calling
xeniawhat (9:37:14 PM): um jake i tried to call you five days ago.

JakeDaBake (9:37:19 PM): hahahhaha
JakeDaBake (9:37:21 PM): ahahaha
JakeDaBake (9:37:25 PM): best response ever
xeniawhat (9:37:50 PM): my cigarette smells like a sardine when i light it
xeniawhat (9:38:02 PM): and also i can't stop playing freaking snood.
JakeDaBake (9:38:11 PM): its prounounced snode
JakeDaBake (9:38:21 PM): or snud
xeniawhat (9:38:33 PM): if anyone corrects my online pronunciation anymore

xeniawhat (9:38:44 PM): i am just going to have to enroll myself in some sort of course.
xeniawhat (9:38:51 PM): or private lessons. i bet gallatin has it.
JakeDaBake (9:38:54 PM): and someone should tell you
JakeDaBake (9:39:01 PM): its double u teee efff
xeniawhat (9:39:25 PM): i want to go to germany for the world cup.
xeniawhat (9:39:57 PM): and fill it with beer

xeniawhat (9:40:01 PM): and flowers
JakeDaBake (9:40:05 PM): is that euphemism
xeniawhat (9:40:09 PM): and call it beergarden 2006
xeniawhat (9:40:33 PM): and when i get to the world cup match, i'm going to say i'm from "the melting pot"
xeniawhat (9:40:41 PM): but not the breadbasket part of the metling pot
xeniawhat (9:40:46 PM): nor the dustbowl
xeniawhat (9:41:09 PM): then i'm going to ask many people who don't play english to go to the pub and play never have I ever.
xeniawhat (9:41:30 PM): say: meupha-yism outloud

xeniawhat (9:41:35 PM): i dare you not to laugh
xeniawhat (9:41:57 PM): mis dat a meupheu-yism?
xeniawhat (9:42:16 PM): what do you call it when a cow beats around the bush

xeniawhat (9:42:22 PM): a moo-pheumism
“JakeDaBake” signed off at 9:43:24 PM.

If you're scared, that's your problem.

Musician Bums

Brian said that Wesley Willis inspired a whole new generation of "musician bums" to stop buying crack and buy casios.

And promote them.

Happy Beerday
My friend Brian is moving in with me if he pasts an exam for a school he wants to go to tomorrow. He is my friend my middle school and highschool.

Today he went with me to my father's birthday party.

My dad my mom moved to Jersey City because it's closer to their offices. It cuts the commute something like 80%. But what you don't know is that their building is like a dorm room and their friends always knock on the door to see what they are doing. They are having a huge Xmas party.

My dad's cake was chocolate chip and had blue icing that read "Mr. V. Happy Beerday." Apparently my dad loves brandy.
And my mom started taking sips of red wine.